


Salt Water Tears (DISCONTINUED ILL REWRITE IT EVANTUALLY)

by PartyGordo (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, THIS THING DIED IM NOT MAKING IT ANYMORE HOWEVER I WILL BE REWRITING IT EVANTUALLY, VERY INCONSISTENT UPLOAD SCHEDULE PEOPLE, how does one do tags?, iwaizumi is probs going to cry a lot and so is oiks, iwaoi - Freeform, matsuhana - Freeform, might be some possible fluff, oikawa does an oopsie pt1, oikawa doesn’t know how to handle feelings, plenty of angst, sleep what sleep, sorry if this isn’t original, this is my first post h
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-10 09:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17423099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/PartyGordo
Summary: “Tooru, you know how you can’t see colors but mommy can?“ He said nothing, quietly he sat impatiently waiting for what seemed to be a big deal. His mother looked expectantly at him and he nodded, although he could see the colors— They were there. Blue, red, teal, everything. And suddenly that felt like a curse when his mother began to explain, “Well, when mommy met daddy she was able to see the colors. When you meet your wife you will see them too. It’s called a soulmate, and then everything will not be gray, so if you meet someone and you see colors tell mommy ok?.“ Oikawas heart stopped at the last sentence, his mother noticed the shock on his face she furrowed her eyebrows in worry. Opening her mouth to speak, he interrupted her and cut in—“Momma, not everything is gray for me though...“And that’s just how it all started.





	1. Boring Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Note: THIS FANFICTION IS BEING DISCONTINUED SORRY
> 
> hi this is like my first time ever writing on a03 so I apologize if there’s any formatting issues or something like that. i’ve been writing for a while but I never had an account on here so.
> 
> enjoy ^^
> 
> sorry if it’s really short!
> 
> this isn’t the best example of my writing ;__;

_Soulmate._

Oikawa has heard the word a lot; the fact that you as a person are colorblind until you meet your soulmate. The world was supposed to be gray and colorless, dreary until he locked eyes with that one special person. He was supposed to be able to look forward to that, but he couldn’t. That stupid day in his family living room played over and over again in his head.

“ _Tooru, you know how you can’t see colors but mommy can?_ “ He said nothing, quietly he sat impatiently waiting for what seemed to be a big deal. His mother looked expectantly at him and he nodded, although he could see the colors— They were there. Blue, red, teal, everything. And suddenly that felt like a curse when his mother began to explain, “ _Well, when mommy met daddy she was able to see the colors. When you meet your wife you will see them too. It’s called a soulmate, and then everything will not be gray, so if you meet someone and you see colors tell mommy ok?._ “ Oikawas heart stopped at the last sentence, his mother noticed the shock on his face she furrowed her eyebrows in worry. Opening her mouth to speak, he interrupted her and cut in— 

“ _Momma, not everything is gray for me though..._ “

And that’s just how it all started.

\---

Iwaizumi was always there. He couldn’t remember a single day when he wasn’t with him, because despite the weirdness of his life there was always one thing there, him. In a way that was comforting, because one thing he did not like was change; it was such a pain to deal with and if he no longer had someone to cry and cling onto and follow like a lost puppy at grade school then he would probably die. Although he always had that twinge of jealousy; _Iwa-chan gets to meet their soulmate. Iwa-chan gets someone. I don’t get someone._ however he usually pushed those thoughts away and tried to live his life happy; trying to lie his way through everything.

“ _So, Oikawa-san, have you met your soulmate?_ “ some girl he couldn’t remember— What was her name? He had no idea, at this point so many people knew him but he had no idea they existed. He turned his head over and smiled, shaking his head. “ Afraid not. “ The lie stung as he said it, well, a half lie. He would never have a soulmate, that’s what he had been told. He distracted himself as he turned to Iwaizumi, ignoring the girl he tugged on his arm. Iwaizumi flinched and pushed him off gently, rolling his eyes as he spoke, “ Iwa-chan~ Can I stay over this weekend? My mom is going on another busin— “ He sighed and cut him off, voice flat, “ No. “ Oikawas lips formed into a pout. “ C’mon, please? “

“ No. “

“ Please? “

“ _No._ “

“ _Why not?!_ “

“ Fine, jesus. Only because I know you’ll do something stupid. “ He grinned at the victory, still gripping his arm Iwaizumi awkwardly shifted under the grasp. Oikawa blinked twice before letting go, a strange warmth bubbling in his face. He quickly pulled away, turning back to the girl who was quietly laughing. She looked like a transfer student, blonde hair and looking extremely American. She rested her face on her hand, staring in amusement. “ Ah- I should probably go home soon— “ He paused and dig through his memories to try and find her name, nothing coming up she smiled and simply said, “ Ayano. Bye, Oikawa-san. “ She had a placid look in her face as she waved to him. He got up, quietly nudging at Iwaizumi to get up. He grumbled and swung himself up, dragging his feet as Oikawa walked towards the entrance of the school.

“ Who was that? “ Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes as he casually asked, obviously exhausted from whatever the hell they had even done that day. Maybe it was just Friday exhaustion, he wanted it to be the weekend. Oikawa cheerily replied, “ Just some girl that my sister knows. She looks really American doesn’t she? “ Iwaizumi hummed in response, yawning as they walked out the entrance. It was silent as they walked, nothing but the wind and the every so often chirp of birds. Desperately trying to find conversation Oikawa asked, “ On the topic of soulmates- “ Iwaizumi quickly interrupted him, grumbling, “ We weren’t but go ahead. “ Oikawa scratched his head, tempted to back off at his seemingly bad mood. However he slowly continued anyway.

“ You still have no soulmate? “ Iwaizumi stiffened a bit, opening his mouth but closing it as he appeared to loose his thought. He quietly mumbled something that wasn’t audible, Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows. “ What? “ Iwaizumis bead darted up, he quickly saved himself as he blurted, “ No. I still have a long time probably. “ He looked at the ground as they continued to walk, almost at their complex the sky was beginning to turn a bright orange. Tension seemed to be building up, Oikawa stared at him to see his eyes were glassy and had bags under them. He stopped walking, Iwaizumi taking a moment to stop he looked back at him, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “ You seem grumpy, Iwa-chan. “

“ ‘S nothing important. Just tired. By the way, what time are you gonna come over? I can pick you up. “ Oikawa noted the sudden subject change, a bit suspicious he began to walk again. He thought for a moment— _probably best at 2:30 so he would wake up without struggling to even talk. _“ 2:30? “ He asked, Iwaizumi nodded. This was about the time they split ways, Oikawa turned and waved at him as he walked seeing that small sense of gloominess as stood for a moment. “ _Buh-bye Iwa-chan~ See you tomorrow!_ “ As he walked away he stopped and rubbed his eyes near a small park that had been breaking down, listening to the squeak of the swing set he felt an eerie presence.__

__**Liar.** _ _


	2. Go to bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo!! Sorry if the end is a bit shaky on this chapter, I made it a bit longer but needed to fit that part into it (I also began to get very tired when I neared the end but I wanted to finish it because I might forget about it later eheheh)
> 
> EARLY UPLOAD!!
> 
> anyways hope you all are having a great day ^^ happy reading

Sleeping was a terrible problem for Oikawa. Every night he would twist and turn, throwing the blankets off and back on, eventually settling to throw his head into the pillows in an attempt to knock himself out. He never liked to acknowledge the more special feelings he had with people, or the thoughts that were a little bit too deep to look into too much. However having those opportunities to be alone left nothing but him and his thoughts— _Which could be a good thing, but only when something is actually happening._ If nothing was, he would lay tired and awake in one of his millions of weird sleeping positions.

So there Oikawa was, Hugging onto a body pillow like it was the only thing keeping him alive. Counting was taking to long, and he was going to run out of numbers to count soon. He sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes as yep for some fucking reason he was tired but still couldn’t sleep. Slowly getting up to make sure the bed wouldn’t make too much noise, he stretched and rubbed his eyes. Grabbing blindly at his phone on his bed, the screen brightly lighting he flinched. He groaned at the time, knowing there was no way he was going to get any sort of healthy amount of sleep.

2:43 in the morning. Yep. Oikawa Tooru was somehow still awake at 2:43, when he originally went to try and fall asleep (and fail miserably) at around 8pm. He definitely wasn’t going to lay back down and try to go to sleep, so the best he could do was try and find something to do instead. Scrolling through social media isn’t an option as he’s already ripped through that until it was a barren wasteland. He practically threw himself onto his bed and sighed long and heavy until an idea popped into his mind;

Are there people the same as him?

He hastily went online and hastily typed into the search bar _is it possible to not have a soulmate_ and hit enter. To his surprise, a lot of links actually showed up immediately. However as he dug through them he realized none of the situations matched his; the people without soulmates were people who didn’t want them. He scratched his head and began to type out a new article on the website, heart pounding as he typed out the question and the details of what he had been through his entire life. as he clicked enter, he nearly jumped out of his own skin at the response that popped up. The main staff of the website had answered in like ten seconds? Holy shit— the main staff. The people who had access to studies. He shakily tapped the notification.

_Currently, it is possible to have no soulmate. However the circumstances are very particular, and remember that some people meet their soulmates before they can remember when they didn’t know them. Only 0.7% of the population has no soulmate, and these are people who have taken a religious or spiritual oath. These people remind color blind forever. However some people are naturally born with no soulmate with no explanation. The main misconception is that if you don’t have a soulmate you remain colorblind forever. This is like when your soulmate is going to die and your vision of color suddenly stops; because you have no soulmate!_

_It looks like you are the 9% of people who have known their soulmate their whole lives from what you have explained, as there’s really no other explanation. If you do happen to have a close friend I would confront this person about it, and if you haven’t noticed already you two probably have a very close connection already. Good luck, 9%!_

__

I think i might know who you are, too :)

_Cheers,  
Seito Oschine._

By the time he was done reading it his mouth was wide open.

oh.

wait.

**HOLY SHIT.**

He choked as tears ran silently down his face, suddenly sitting up he put both of his hands on his head in probably the most shock he had ever felt. “ Holy fuck! “ He yelled, dropping his phone and noisily climbing out of his bed. He didn’t care for that moment if he woke anyone up; because for all he cared he knew a few things that made his stomach actually ache. He hastily grabbed a notepad and began to scribble the things he just read down, still tears streaming down his face.

1\. I have a soulmate.

All the sudden he stopped, hands shaking he began to breathe heavily, the mechanical pencil he was writing with fell out of his hand. Because in fact he did have someone that he had known his entire life -AND THE FACT HE HAD A SOULMATE- and in fact did that person have an incredibly close connection with him in regards to friendship. And in fact Oikawa did have moments where he found himself staring too long at him and feeling hit whenever he would do certain things that he only noticed with him. And the fact that this person was a fucking boy which was not supposed to happen. He had brushed the feelings off as him wanting badly to have a soulmate and desperately trying to find some sort of soulmate connection.

he then opened the private message that had been sent to him minutes ago.

“ _Oikawa Tooru,_

_I used my staff permissions to put you anonymous to everyone but me (As you forgot to do so) I wouldn’t want you to get bombarded by your dozens of admirers once they find out you have a soulmate and don’t know who it is. I’m sure you don’t recognize me because the name i’m using is fake, but i’m in your Algebra class. Kid who sits in the back row who’s always on their phone, answering stuff like this. Everyone calls me Momokuwa so you probably know me from that. Unfortunately I need a minimal 5 hours of sleep, so I must leave you hanging. I’m also going to have to type formally to meet the character limit._

_My apologies  
Seito Oschine_

The first half of him hoped it wasn’t true, the second half hoped it was.

The second half was his honesty.


	3. Not so normal now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo!!
> 
> Kinda half bad news, but I will only be updating this at least every other week because i’m starting to realize that the plot isn’t very good, and i have another Iwaoi fanfiction that i’ve already started that’s a lot better and will have a lot more to write about!
> 
> The new fanfiction will be upload by wednesday of next week, and will continue to update at least every week (with probably many more scattered throughout) as this one i’m a bit more excited to write about.
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter 
> 
> Have a nice day and stay positive!! ( ✌︎'v')✌︎

5 Hours.

Oikawa laid in bed, setting an alarm just in case he actually managed to fall asleep. The hours seemed to feel like minutes though, as he wasn’t really fully awake through all of them. His thoughts were jumbled through everything as he slipped in and out of consciousness, so eventually he settled at about 5:32 in the morning when the sun began to rise a bit; not visible although. The sky has a gradient of a grapefruit color along with the still dark blue and black at the very top, with some other weird variations of reds and oranges that he was too tired to even think about. Oikawa never cares much for sunsets; he never saw any meaning to them, but now he felt a bit— emotional? He didn’t know, just some underlying feeling of anxiety or frustration.

The clouds were visible, although not many near there were a few cirrus clouds that were spread through the sky. It would’ve been a nice picture for him to take (like all the other scenic photos that scattered his camera roll) but his arms felt like a ton of weights that couldn’t be bothered to move. If he remembered correctly, it was going to rain that day early in the morning; and from the looks of the looming clouds from farther away it was probably going to storm, maybe even a lighting storm.

_Oikawa fucking hated lightning._

He had no idea why, Oikawa in general did not mind loud noises or anything like that but lightning just terrified him. He didn’t know if it was the fact it was so sudden and unpredictable, or the fact that it could literally rip your life out of your hands if it hit you even once. And even if you did survive, you would never look or be able to do the same things ever again. Part of that was terrifying because of the fact that Oikawa felt he always had it so easy compared to other people, because even though “having no soulmate” made your life seem a little bitter, he never had to deal with the pain of finding that person. But now all the sudden he did have a soulmate, and now all the sudden he was thinking it could possibly be his best friend who he’s starting to realize he is really fucking gay for (and might actually be his soulmate?)

Change,

Change,

Change!

He grumbled and threw his head into the pillows, eyes becoming heavy he realized that he hadn’t looked this up in the 17 years of his life he was alive because there was a small sense of security in not having a soulmate. Because you didn’t have to be dedicated to someone your entire life; but all the sudden he realized how much he really wanted that. He realized that even if he did wait for Momokuwa to wake up he necessarily wouldn’t be anything more than mental support; and he really didn’t need some person who would sell out your information to know about his oh so hard life’s problems. He turned off the alarm he had set.

He felt his face and body burning up from the heat as he lazily pulled the now messed up bed spread over him, laying on his stomach he sighed and put both hands under the pillow, tilting his head sideways so he could look out the window. After a minute of laying there, he sighed again and practically tore off the shirt he was watching. It wasn’t even summer, yet he still felt like it was a million degrees. Of course it was the exact opposite most days; he would be absolutely freezing and complaining and begging Iwaizumi to give him his jacket, which of course he would eventually and it was super adorable—

_Wait._

He shoved his face into the pillows hoping that he would suffocate and die. He never really though much of that little thought that every so often passed through about Iwaizumi, he never really cared that much to remember. But now; all the sudden that he could possibly be the person he was connected to forever, he felt his body heat up and stomach turn whenever he thought about him. And in all honesty maybe he just thought it was normal how touchy-feely they were with each other, but now—

he was going to fucking die in a couple of hours.


	4. big oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big boi update because your boy did a little frick heck

so after thinking about it for a while, i’m probably not going to update this ever again because i’m legitimately stuck and can’t think of anything to drag this out any longer. This probably won’t update for a long time unless i decide to 1. rewrite the entire thing and redraft the story 2. don’t release the story until i’m actually done with it and don’t have to be concerned with not being motivated or 3. suddenly feel motivated with the story

option 1 is more likely to happen because i have trouble continuing something i absolutely hate

HOWEVER

i will be uploading the new iwaoi fanfiction tommorow or late today instead of on wednesday as ive had a solid story idea on this for a while. the story itself is loosely based around the RPG game Octopath Traveler so look forward to that. The story is also going to be a lot more explicit as there are going to be *cough* certain smut scenes *cough* eventually in the story

it also includes a lot more side pairing and a lot more freedom to write and experiment, as the story itself is literally a very broad idea and i can fluctuate with the story any time which is good for me because i’m not very experienced with writing and have trouble sticking to a huge very specific plot

 

sorry for any inconvenience :(

(~_~;)

~PartyGordo


End file.
